The Quantum Insider Trademarks The Letter Q™

Insider Brief

• The Quantum Insider has secured a trademark from the USPTO for both uppercase and lowercase versions of the letter Q, used in all but, like, six of quantum technology brand names.
• The company plans to commercialize the trademark by requiring royalty payments — called Qash (trademark pending) — from quantum companies using Q in their branding.
• TQI executives claim the move positions them as leaders in quantum commercialization, with future trademarking plans reportedly targeting commonly used industry phrases.

The Quantum Insider announced today that the U.S. Patent and Trademark Organization (USPTO) has approved its application to trademark both the upper case and the lower case letter Q, a letter used in 99.4% of the quantum ecosystem’s brand names.

Company officials have now carved out a clear go-to-market plan that will require companies that use Q in their brand names to pay a royalty to TQI. It also provides a clear path to commercialization in quantum.

Matt Swayne, TQ chief Qontent officer and one of the world’s foremost experts on letter branding, said the move establishes the company as a pioneer in finding quantum advantage in a super-sneaky way.

“We are in a very good position — a superposition, I am contractually obligated to pun — to lead the quantum industry into this era of commercialization and guiding the way for quantum companies to bring the real world benefits of quantum technology to the world,” said Swayne, adding “So long as they don’t violate our trademark.”

A representative from Xanadu reportedly said, “Shweeeew!” and made a hand-swipe-across-the-forehead gesture.

Swayne said the trademark offers clear advantage over other classical letters, such as C or M. In a recent experiment, scientist found that it will take either letters “C” or “M” 10 septillion years to catch up to the use of the letter Q in quantum company brands.

“That’s a one followed by a lot of zeroes,” Swayne pointed out adroitly.

Interestingly, Swayne doesn’t really like the letter Q, complaining that it can’t seem to make up its mind whether it’s a g or an O with a little stick in it.

“Also, it always seems to be so co-dependent on that little ‘u’ — really annoying,” said Swayne, again, adroitly. “A special thanks to the entire nation of Qatar.”

Companies with the letter Q in their names and product brand names should be expecting a sharply worded letter in the mail along with a big envelope for a big check.

“We have the world’s best intelligence platform covering the quantum technology industry and you should see the list of Q companies,” said TQI co-founder Evan Kubes. “We know where you all live.”

Cierra Choucair, TQI’s deep tech journalist, analyst and Swayne’s best friend, said that the trademarking news was unexpected.

“I just want to tell the community I had nothing to do with this,” said Choucair.

Kubes add that future plans include trademarking the term, “world’s best” and “a historic scientific breakthrough”.